


Across the Years Collection

by jillc



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 14,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5969101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillc/pseuds/jillc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story about how the characters changed throughout their years. It starts in series one and it will go to series five. I will do individual characters, and then relationships between the characters. The main ones are Arthur-Merlin, Gwen-Arthur, Merlin-Morgana, Merlin-Gwen, Arthur-Morgana. Whichever character is first the story will be from their position. </p>
<p> This story is still being written so I have still to finish some chatpers. I will update when I can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Days of Fun and Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first one is about Gwen meeting Merlin. I really loved their friendship and was really sad at the way they almost became like strangers in the show itself. At the start Gwen had more in common with Merlin than Arthur and I hope this first chapter shows that.

Days of Fun and Innocence

Character: Gwen-Merlin

Gwen would always remember the first day she met Merlin. Right from the start he made an impression on her. It was not just the fact that he stood up to Arthur, though that in itself impressed her enough. More the fact that from the moment she had shook his hand, she had the feeling that there was something about him, something that somehow set him apart from every one else.

On first impression he was quite similar to herself. Both came from humble backgrounds, both had a commpassion about them, that followed them about. In the way that there was nothing Gwen wouldn’t do for someone, she knew that Merlin was exactly the same. 

As they came to know each other, both being servants in the royal household, Gwen suddenly realised she was growing an attachment to Merlin. It wasn’t something she was instantly aware of, indeed the feeling suddenly seem to come out of nowhere. But one day it was as if someone else was inside her body. All of a sudden her heart would start beating faster, at the sight of him, then out of the blue her tongue would trip her up, or worse she would fall over her words. As it happened her face would start to go red, she would feel flustered and panic thinking he would laugh at her.

It was in fact Lady Morgana who put her finger on it first. As Gwen stood brushing Morgana’s hair, she had suggested that Gwen seemed to spend a lot of time talking about Arthur’s new manservant. 

Gwen had at first dismissed the thought, but then she had almost lost him, when he got poisoned. All of a sudden she could dismiss the thought no longer. As she nursed him better along with Gaius, she suddenly realised a world without Merlin, would be a very distressing one. When he’d got better her emotion had got the better of her, and she’d pounced on him kissing him before he had the chance to say anything. Even a week later, her world was in turmoil. She was determined to do something about it. Waiting for him to finish work one night, she hung around outside Arthur’s chambers till she saw him walking down the corridor.

“Merlin, can I speak with you?” she asked, suddenly aware that her heart was beating faster than usual.

“Gwen. How are you, I was hoping to see you.” He replied a smile wide across his face.

“I wanted to ask you something.” She began, beginning to feel flustered already.

“What is it?” he asked curiously.

“I wondered if you would, not that you have to if you don’t want to, but I thought you may want to go for a walk. I could show you some more of Camelot.” She knew as she spoke her face was red.

“Yes that would be nice.” He had smiled back “I will just go and get my jacket.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you outside.” She stood stunned to the spot. I’ve done it! I’ve asked him, at long last! She thought to herself, suddenly she felt as if she could dance around with happiness. She walked outside, a big smile on her face suddenly the day seemed much brighter.


	2. Forbidden Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I loved the way Morgana would strut her stuff in series one, she always knew how to capture everyone's attention. This set around the episode Lancelot when Arthur is discussing Morgana with Lancelot

Forbidden Feelings

As Arthur watched Morgana strut her stuff across the floor, not for the first time he Fwondered, what it was about her, that made him so curious about her. On the one hand she was he had to admit beautiful, and yet there was also something else. Having grown up with her, he could never quite make his mind up as to what he actually felt about her.

At times he would rage against her, as she argued with him and took him on. He still laughed over the idea that she had “saved him” when he had fought Valiant. It actually summed up her over-imagination, Arthur thought. Of course he would of thought of something, used one of his clever moves to have escaped the Knight. But Morgana, had insisted to everyone much to his embarrassment, that somehow he owed it all to her. In the end they had had an argument that had lasted a week, in which neither had spoken to the other. 

Ever since he could remember she had been a competitive person. From when she was young and had arrived after his father, had adopted her she had a streak in her, that no one underestimated, if they knew what was good for them. Arthur himself, had had many a run in with her, her prowess with a sword had left even Arthur secretly admiring her. She would give it her all and some times even beat him, not that he would ever admit such a thing. 

In the last few years something else had caught his attention. Some thing about the way she carried herself, she had poise and confidence, at times she would carry the attention of a whole room, and she knew it. She had become so adept at displaying herself. Even Arthur himself had at times caught his breath, as he looked at her, not that that he would admit such a thing. But more and more his friends would stare at her in wonder. There was no doubt about it, his sister as that was what he thought of her as, was growing into a stunning and alluring woman.

As he watched her move around the floor, with everyone’s eyes on her, Lord Geraint said to him in admiring tones.

“Your sister is shinning tonight, if I may say.” 

“Yes I suppose she is.” As he said it his tone was a mixture of pride and dare he think it desire? He shook his head in disbelief. Across the room Morgana met his eyes, and before he knew he made his way over to her, his eyes answering with the same look.


	3. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was set during the first time Merlin ever sees Morgana in the opening episode. I think it is true to say she makes an impression on him! I never really shipped these two, but I loved the look on Merlin's face when he sees her for the first time.

Merlin was still working his way around his new home. Delivering Gaius’s potions around the castle was an ideal way of learning all about Camelot’s nooks and crannies. He’d only got lost a couple of times, and had eventually found his way back to his room. He loved the idea of going to somewhere new, so when Gaius had asked him to take a potion to the Lady Morgana, he smiled at the prospect of visiting another new part of the castle.

He followed the corridor around until he came to the flight of stairs that led to the royal chambers. He was looking forward to meeting the Lady Morgana, as he had heard tales of her, not least her beauty. He wondered if they were exaggerated, as tales often were. All of a sudden he was at her door, he made to go inside.

Suddenly she came into view, Merlin was stuck to the floor as he looked at her. Tall and dark, with long hair that fell down her back, he was stunned by her beauty. All of a sudden he was unable to function, he just stood outside the room feeling foolish.

Before he knew it she was asking for her dress, unable to stop himself he picked it up and took it over to her, resting it on the top of the screen. She was talking about whether she had to attend the concert with Arthur or not. To his horror he realised that Morgana thought he was Gwen. Again she asked him a question.

Look desperately around for Gwen, he realised he was on his own. He attempted to answer hoping he sounded a bit like Gwen. She appeared not to notice, so he was able to catch another stare at her. He doubted he had seen a more beautiful looking girl, or woman maybe he would be able to get to know her he thought to himself. But then he told himself off, what was he thinking off, she was member of royalty whereas he was just a servant. He sighed, sometimes life was not fair, he reflected.

Suddenly Morgana was asking another question, oh what am I going to do he thought to himself, how do I get myself into messes like this? He grunted again, hoping it would work like last time. But suddenly Morgana was asking him to do up her dress, he gulped, this could get very messy for me he thought. As Morgana called out Gwen’s name again, suddenly his friend appeared looking curiously at him.

He held up the potion to Gwen who laughed as Merlin made a desperate run for the door. Some how he’d got out of what could have been a very embarrassing situation. Laughing at his own stupidity he thought of Morgana again, and he floated down the corridor. It seemed that some tales were indeed true, he smiled to himself.


	4. The Start of the Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set mainly round the latter episodes of series one. Set between The Moment in Truth to Le Morte d'Arthur when the Arthur/Gwen relationship began to build up.

When Gwen looked back on her relationship with Arthur, she realised that he had most impressed her, at her lowest ebb. Her father Tom had just been shot by the prison guards, Tom having had attempted to escape the day before he was due to come to trial. Gwen had spent the day numb to the core. She had gone to stay with Gaius and Merlin the former insisting she must be kept an eye on. Merlin had kindly offered her his bed and she had unsuccessfully attempted to find a couple of hours free of her heartbreak.

Merlin had checked up on her later on Gwen was completely puzzled as to why Tom had tried to escape at all. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Arthur had walked into the room. Gwen automatically stood up when she saw him. But she sensed this was a nervous and ill at ease person. His eyes seemed to move all over the place, until they finally settled on hers nervously. When he spoke his voice had seemed to Gwen very quiet and yet there was a confidence there too, a sense that he had something important to say to her.

“Guinevere I want you to know your job is safe and your home is yours for life. I guarantee that. I know under the circumstances that’s not much but erm, anything you want you only have to ask.”

“Thank you sire.” Gwen had said quietly, as she watched Arthur turn to go.

As he reached the door Arthur had turned around and said “I’m sorry.” For a moment their eyes had connected, in that moment Gwen knew that Arthur was actually apologising for her father’s death. While she reflected it would not bring Tom back to her, she felt somehow elated that Arthur had actually been prepared to say it at all.

Looking back at that year Gwen realised the prince had actually matured a lot. She recognised that at times he still needed reassurance. Such as when they had all gone to Ealdor to fight back against the bandits. She had actually seen both sides of Arthur’s characters in one experience. First the spoilt the Prince who couldn’t stand to eat his porridge, and ended up giving it to Gwen much to her annoyance. Yet she also recognised how hard he was trying to prepare the village in its fight back against the bandits to see there was a definite decent person attempting to come out. Then there was the outburst the next day.

As usual it had begun with Arthur turning his nose down at the cuisine on offer. Gwen had decided to find him and offer him the rest of the porridge. She had found him in a clearing of trees looking out at the horizon. She had given him the food, and as she had prepared to go back he had whispered a negative comment. Before she knew it Gwen had turned back to him and given him a full lecture.

“Food is scarce for these people.You shouldn’t turn your nose up at it!” she exclaimed. Arthur had just stared at her, even as she had said it Gwen felt shocked and then desperately attempted to back track.

“Oh no, no I shouldn’t off attempted to of spoken to you like that. I’m sorry.” She had apologise hardly daring to look at him, she turned to go.

Arthur had said quietly “Gwen.”  
“I’m sorry I don’t know what I was thinking. It won’t happen again.” She said.

“Guinevere.” Arthur had said again.

She suddenly paused feeling awkward. “Thank you and you were right to speak up.”

Before Gwen knew it Arthur was unfolding his fears to her about the whole venture. It was clear he was not feeling confident about their chances. Gwen was determined to convince him otherwise.

“We’ll be fine.” Gwen insisted making sure she looked at him in the face as she it.

“How can you be so sure.” Arthur had asked her.

“Because I have faith in you.” Gwen had said then blushing before adding “I mean we all do.” 

For a moment they had looked at each other before Arthur had finally said, “Thank you.”

Was that the moment that she had begun her attraction to him she wondered afterwards. By the end of the year Camelot was in crisis it’s Prince on his deathbed after being bitten by the Questing Beast. Gwen like everyone else had been shocked but again she was resolute in playing her part in keeping the Prince alive. She had relieved Gaius promising the physician she would take care of Arthur. As she nursed him, she also opened her heart determined to give him hope as he lay there fighting his ailment.

“You’re not going to die Arthur I’m telling you. Because I know one day you will be King, a better King than your father will ever be. It’s what keeps me going you are going to live to be the man I’ve seen inside you Arthur. I can see a Camelot that is fair and just. I can see a King that people will love. You must survive.”

It was only as she said the words that Gwen realised how true they were to her. It was as if something had needed to happen to bring it all to a head. To force her to speak the words that had indeed kept her going through all the trauma and hard times she had experienced that year.

The Prince had recovered to Gwen’s relieve and as they all contemplated the next year, Gwen wondered if this was indeed the start of something special. She knew now she was attracted to him, only time would tell if there was ever to be a way forward for her and Arthur. But at least now her hopes were still there and they could all look to the future.


	5. A Year to Consider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to do a chapter on both of Merlin and Arthur as they are so important to the story. This is Merlin looking back on his first year at Camelot.

It was the end of another full day and Merlin prepared to wind down and retire for the night. As he began to put Arthur’s clothes away his mind began to wander around. Usually by this time he was aching for his bed but his mind remained active. He found a quiet spot to sit down and gave in to his restless thoughts. 

It had been almost a year to the day in which the young warlock had arrived in Camelot. So much had happened in that year that at times he’d hardly had time to draw breath. He’d made new friends, had found an almost father figure in Gaius. But most of all he’d became acquainted with Arthur Pendragon, the man whom it was his destiny to protect.

Merlin laughed to himself when he recalled their first meeting. Even now he could still remember word for word their first encounter. 

“That’s enough my friend.”

As Merlin recalled the first line he’d spoken to Arthur he’d wondered why on earth he hadn’t realised who Arthur was at the time. It was so obvious now to him but Merlin guessed he was just taken in by the moment. Still lost in the wonder of the direction his life had taken suddenly.

The first meeting had ended up with Arthur throwing Merlin in a cell, not the most promising start to their relationship. Merlin laughed quietly thinking about it, not for one moment had he regretted it though. His mother had always taught him to stand up to bullies, no matter what their rank or importance. If he’d had his time again he would still of done the same.

They had faced a difficult year in truth, and even now Merlin had things that he struggled with. The one thing Merlin had wanted more than anything was for the Prince to trust him. On more than one occasion the warlock had sat and despaired as another incident had seemed to come between them. Whether it was their social standing or Arthur just dismissing Merlin through his superiority. There were the odd moment in which Merlin had been close to giving up, but something always seemed to keep him going. 

In the year they had faced witches, high priestesses, griffins had endlessly found themselves in dangerous situations together. Merlin had somehow managed to keep his magic a secret despite all the dangers they had faced together. Bit by bit their relationship had improved, as each of them had learnt the good side of one another. It was only as Merlin sat there thinking over his year, that he realised the thing he had wanted, was now actually a reality. Arthur Pendragon actually did trust him. Not only trusted but would lay his life down for Merlin the way the warlock did for his Prince.

As Merlin reflected this he suddenly felt a little elation enter his being. Yes there was still much to do, and ultimately Merlin knew it was only when he could reveal his true self to Arthur that he would truly be happy. But for now surely this was a good start?


	6. "Something about Merlin."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set after the episode Labyrinth to Gedref, as I think it is quite an important step between Arthur and Merlin’s relationship. I set this as Arthur attempting to understand Merlin in his own mind.

Arthur and Merlin had got back to Camelot to discover the curse had been lifted and the people were calling the harvest in. It had been a frightening and sobering experience for the young prince. All of a sudden he was aware that his actions could actually bring hardship to his people. Something as straight forward as killing a unicorn. Athur suddenly felt shame over the act he’d committed. He should off listened to Merlin he realised.

Ah yes Merlin, Arthur turned to look at the boy who had accompanied him back from meeting Anhora and not for the first time he felt unable to work him out. It wasn’t that he was surprised that Merlin had disobeyed his orders, and joined him. If anything he was used to such ill-disipline from the young man! No the thing that surprised Arthur more than anything was the fact that he had offered to die for him. He would never understand Merlin.

From the moment they had met there was something about the boy that Arthur just could not understand. He wasn’t any good at fighting, he was almost girly in character. He seemed right from the start to have no idea about how to speak to people in Arthur’s class. He would treat everyone the same, with an almost hell bent disregard for who they where. How many times had Merlin embarrassed him with his awkwardness and his habit of putting his foot in it. The boy was so clumsy he could fall over a daisy! Arthur smiled to himself as Merlin almost fell off his horse as if to prove the Princes own thoughts. Arthur sighed and smiled despite himself.

The coming days had gone and life returned to normal for Camelot. Arthur was still preoccupied with his own thoughts. He was still attempting to work out his manservant. Merlin was as ever the same, annoying, rude, clumsy and yet as ever was always there when Arthur needed him. For all the things that drove Arthur mad, he knew he would never want to be without Merlin. Over the year Arthur had gained a friend without actually realising it. A friend who would never let him down, and would always be there when Arthur required him. Arthur quietly promised that he would never let Merlin down either. The coin had become whole.


	7. Sister In Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about Gwen and Morgana. People are so focused on the Merlin and Arthur relationship that they sometimes forget just how close Gwen and Morgana were at the beginning. This story shows Gwen's pride at being Morgana's maid and friend.

It was the night of Lancleot’s ceremony. Gwen was rushing around getting Morgana’s hair brushed. They had spent a lovely afternoon discussing what Morgana should wear for the celebration. Gwen loved how Morgana always asked her opinion on her dresses. Uther’s ward always looked stunning in whatever she wore, but for some reason Gwen sensed that Morgana was desperate to look particularly glamorous tonight. She wondered if Morgana too had eyes for the new Knight of Camelot. Gwen had hoped not, but she would never deny her mistress any man.

Gwen had been working as Morgana’s maid for a few years now and she loved her job. She was also very fond of Morgana, who had always been a kind and considerate mistress to Gwen. Although Morgana was the older of the two, it seemed to Gwen as though she had become an almost mother like figure to the young ward. Not that she was unhappy about it, in fact she loved how close it had brought the two of them together.

While Gwen had her set of duties for each day, Morgana would always find time to sit down with her maid and chat over the happenings at Camelot. Gwen would laugh as Morgana would talk of the latest rumour that she had heard about. They loved to gossip about what they had both heard around the castle. Gwen noticed that Morgana had an eye for spotting any man who arrived in court. Usually you would hear such things in the servant’s quarters. But Gwen had usually it first from her mistress, not that she would admit it to any of the other servants. Well except maybe Merlin. 

Gwen was amazed at how quickly Morgana had spotted her attraction to Merlin. Everyday Gwen would be bombarded with questions as to what had happened between the two servants. What had they said? How many smiles had Merlin pushed Gwen’s way today? Had Gwen or Merlin asked each other out yet? Sometimes Gwen felt giddy from the questions her mistress would throw her way. Especially as most of the time she had no answers with regard to Merlin. Then suddenly Lancelot had arrived on the scene.

As Gwen finished brading Morgana’s hair she had asked Gwen.

“Do you know much about this man Lancelot?”

“Well Merlin knows more about him than me, but he is very nice.” Gwen smiled.

“I do believe your eyes are twinkling Gwen.” Morgana laughed with delight.

“Oh no, my lady.” Gwen assured her. “A man like Lancelot could never go out with me.”

Morgana smiled at her. “Well maybe one day.”

“You and he on the other hand.” Gwen smiled looking at Morgana.

“I don’t think he’s my type, a bit too reserved.” Morgana laughed “I need someone with a bit more mettle.” Morgana laughed.

Gwen smiled as Morgana regally walked passed her and down to the hall to make her grand entrance.

Gwen knew that tonight everyone’s eyes would be on Morgana, and as ever Gwen would watch on proudly as her friend caught everyone’s eyes.


	8. The Rage of a Warlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will be honest here I never took to Kilgharrah as a character. Any thing that could try and persuade Merlin to kill a young boy, was something I had real problems with. But as he was an important "ally" of Merlin's I felt it was important to follow their up and down relationship. I hope my dislike does not show too much! This is set just after Merlin finds his mother lying on the floor in the episode Le Morte d'Arthur.

As Merlin finished off his chores for the day darkness followed him around the castle. He knew what it was immediately but he was determined he would give it no attention. The dragon did not deserve it. Kilgharrah had betrayed him, and Merlin felt unable open any bridges to him.

He had regrets of course, he had remembered how amazed he’d been the first time he stood eyeball to eyeball with the dragon. He had heard stories in his youth about the mighty dragons. He had read about their intelligence their wisdom and how they where the mightiest of all the magical beings. Sadly though he had found Kilgharrah to be nothing but a riddle. He would never give Merlin a straight answer, at times it seemed as if he revelled in the problems that were pushed into the young warlock’s path. Whenever Merlin had gone to him in the hope of salvation he had merely been met with yet another puzzle to work out.

The fact that Kilgharrah seemed to know so much about Merlin’s own life was the biggest riddle of all. How did he have such knowledge? Where did he learn it from? How could he know that a young child needed to be killed? How did Kilgharrah know the child would go on and murder Arthur? Why was it he was unable to supply Merlin with one honest answer?

The questions went on building up in his mind. The end had come when Kilgharrah had not made clear the risks involved in saving Arthur. Even now the picture of Hunith his mother lying on the ground seriously ill tore through his being. He would never trust the dragon ever again. Kilgharrah liked to call Merlin “kin” what kind of kin lies and betrays Merlin wondered, tears in his eyes.

He knew it wasn’t just the picture of his mother dying that had upset him. But for a moment Merlin had seen Kilgharrah as a much needed friend, and now he knew that could never be. All of a sudden it felt as if his life had got very lonely and dark.


	9. When Fate and Destiny Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of the complicated relationship between Merlin and Mordred. I felt their relationship in series five was probably the best thing about that last series. So I thought Mordred had to be included in this. Here is the first instalment.

There are some days that you just don’t forget. It is as if that day sets out what you become. For Merlin that day was the time he first set eyes on Mordred. 

From the moment that Merlin took the decision to help the young Druid boy, it seemed as if their fates were intertwined. Merlin’s first impression of the boy were his blue eyes. He and Mordred shared the same colour, but there it ended. While Merlin’s were bright and friendly, Mordred’s stare was almost adult in comparison. They had a chill in them, as if the boy spent most of his time questioning who the other person was. The stare of someone who’d been let down and betrayed, and was reluctant to show too much to anyone else. The stare of someone who held secrets, and did not enclose anything he didn’t want to.

By the time Merlin had seen Kilgharrah he had been warned by the dragon that Mordred would kill Arthur. The news had stunned Merlin. How could Kilgharrah know which such certainty he wondered? Yet Merlin could not deny there was something about Mordred that unnerved him, something that he could neither understand or be at ease with. 

Yet Merlin knew he could not sacrifice a mere child, as he set out to defy Kilgharrah he set in stone, what was to follow. Even now the fates were beginning to play their part.


	10. The Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really liked the relationship between Gaius and Merlin. While I accept Gaius made a number of mistakes one thing that could not be denied, was how much he cared for Merlin. This is taken from the last episode about how he was prepared to be sacrificed for Merlin's sake.

As Gaius stopped his horse the Isle of the Blessed came into view as the mist uncovered for a second. Suddenly the whole of Gaius’s life passed before him. When he’d last been here the whole of the world had been different. Camelot like most other territories had magic causing from its veins. The dragons had lived and would fly overhead, and hope flew from every mountain top.

Gaius sighed as the Isle was once again shrouded in mist. He slowly guided his horse towards the water’s edge. He suddenly thought of Merlin. If only the boy had known what joy he’d brought to Gaius’s heart, in their short time together. Gaius had given up hoping for a child the day his beloved Alice had been forced to flee Camelot for her life. But this last year Merlin had somehow become the child that Gaius had once longed for.

He smiled as he remembered the young warlock’s warm face. God the boy had given him nightmares, the likes of which he hoped never to face again. But he’d also brought him so much else too. A meaning to an old man’s sad and lonely life, despite the position he enjoyed at court. Gaius had had to give up so much, that at times he had stopped even remembering his past. Too much lay wasted on the ground, a hope he had long since given up waiting for.

Until Merlin had walked through the door and reawakened his hopes and dreams. The hope that magic would once again reign free on the streets of Camelot, the dream that maybe one day he and Alice would yet find one another. Alas it was not to be, and yet Gaius in this moment had no regrets. He would gladly sacrifice himself for Merlin, to at long last take away the wasted years he had sacrificed long ago when he took the choices he made, and stayed with Uther. Yes he regretted he would not be able to share the times with Merlin, but he knew the young warlock would not let him down. For this last act would right the wrongs that he had done, and would give Camelot a new life and magic would once again reign free.

Gaius stepped onto the boat, whispering a silent prayer that the gods would look after his “son”, and off he sailed.


	11. A Father's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's relationship with his father was not a simple one as we all know. Arthur was always trying to gain his father's respect, and at times Uther was his own worst enemy. It was undeniable that he loved his children, but at times he was too stubborn for his own good. 
> 
> This is set during Excalibur and while Arthur is angry with his father, it does prove how much Uther cared about him.

Arthur had never been so angry with his father. Here he was desperate to prove himself to his father and country, and yet he had the chance to prove himself taken away from him in the most cowardly way possible. He couldn’t believe that his own father would ask Gaius to drug him! Arthur was determined that he would make his opinion clear to his father. He had been made to look foolish in the extreme, how would he face his fellow Knights he wondered despondingly. 

He had marched into the throne room where Gaius was looking over the sword his father had used in the fight. Arthur swore he had never seen Gaius leave a room so quickly as he did when Arthur entered it.

“You had Gaius drug me. I was meant to fight him?” Arthur cried before the door was even shut behind Gaius.

“No you weren’t.” Uther replied quietly facing his son.

“But the Knight’s code is very cle-“ Arthur argued.

“The Knight’s code be damned. I believed you would die, and that was a risk I could never take. You mean more to me than anything I know, more than this entire Kingdom, and certainly more than my own life.” Uther got up approaching his amazed son.

“I always thought that I was a disappointment to you.” Arthur stammered suddenly realising all his anger had abated.

“Well that is my fault and not yours.” Uther said tenderness in his voice. “You are my only son and I could never wish for another.”

All at once Arthur felt almost light headed with joy at actually hearing his father say  
such words to him. All his life he had felt that somehow he was a burden, someone who had not lived up to his father’s expectations. Every day had been spent trying to please him, trying to impress him and somehow he had always felt he had come up short. Yet suddenly in this room he felt as if he had come full circle, as though he and his father were seeing each other for the very first time.

For a second the two of them stared at each other, as though neither wanted to end the moment. Yet all too soon Arthur felt the compulsion to make a joke of it.

“I heard you fought well.” Arthur said fun in his eyes. “You should join us in training sort out your footwork.”

Uther laughed, pretending to run after his son. “I’ll show you footwork.” 

For a second Uther had stood there watching his son run off, and had remembered the day Arthur had been born. It was true he had not shown the boy enough love and support. Well from now on that would change, he may not have been a fantastic father, but this incident had suddenly taught him that he should make the most of his time with his son. From now he would not be so slow to show his son his love. This time they had escaped, but Uther knew next time they might not be so lucky.


	12. A Mother's Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a pity we didn't see more about Hunith and her early years with Merlin. What is undeniable though was her outright love for her son. Her whole life had been to his service and care, and to have to send him to Camelot must have been a heartbreaking decision for her to make. This story proves her utmost love to her son.
> 
> This finishes the series one stories.

Hunith tried to settle down for the night, trying to find some warmth from the fire. Sleep proved to be elusive as the last conversation she’d had with Merlin played on her mind. 

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” Merlin had said to her, and Hunith more than anyone knew how true that was.

From the moment she’d gone to Camelot to appeal for help from Uther, she knew how Merlin would react. She knew only too well that he would drop everything and insist on returning to Ealdor with her. She had done her best to prevent him from returning, but he had refused to listen, and now she questioned whether it had been the right thing to do. 

Merlin was everything to Hunith. From the moment she’d held him at birth to the day she had let him go off to Camelot. Like any mother she would off done anything for her child. No sacrifice was too great, but as she lay down and watched him, creating magical visions out of the fire, she wondered if she had just ruined his whole life.

From the moment he had discovered his magical talent, Hunith had lived in fear. Merlin’s childhood had proved to be anything but straight forward. The boy had struggled to understand his powers and why he’d been given them. When he was young it was easy, she would pull him on her knee, kiss his head and tell him he was special, and one day it would all become clear. 

But as time went on and he became more inquisitive she knew she could not go on lying to him. Hunith didn’t understand either, she was not magical. As Merlin became more grown up his questions would become more direct and desperate. No longer could Hunith pull him onto her knee and tell him everything would be alright. As Merlin approached his teenage years things became even more of a struggle. Each time she had got him through a setback something else would occur. 

It would tear her apart that she did not have the answers to his questions. When he would turn to her and say he felt like a monster, how could she comfort him? All she could do was give him a hug, tell him she loved him, but she knew it was no longer enough. How she had longed for Balinor in those times, but she feared even telling Merlin about his father, was a risk too far. Life was so unfair, in the end she had thought of Gauis, maybe he could give Merlin the guidance that she couldn’t. 

She had let her son go to Camelot, to find his destiny, to find the reason why he’d been given his gifts. She had hoped that he would find a life for himself that he could fit into and be happy with. 

It was all going so well, but then Ealdor was attacked by bandits, and Hunith felt the only thing she could do was appeal to Uther. Cenred cared nothing for the little village, but surely Uther would not turn them down. But sadly although sympathetic he would not intervene. So all of a sudden she was begging Merlin not to return with her. 

She was so proud of her son, like his father he always stood up for what is right. But in coming back to Ealdor had he waved goodbye to the life he’d made for himself in Camelot? As she began to drift off to sleep, she feared she had ruined it all for him, and tears of regret ran down her face.


	13. Making a Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of series two. This story is about Morgana's decision to help the sorcerer Alvarr and to finally step away from her family in Camelot. In this story she tries to use her persuasive powers to stop Arthur from going to look for the crystal.

As Morgana sat in court listening to the latest news of Uther’s plan to smash Alvarr’s group, she realised her heart was fluttering fast. She felt so afraid for her new friends, she realised in this moment that she now had more in common with them, then anyone in Camelot. The realisation stunned her as she sat next to Uther, attempting to take in everything Arthur was telling the King. She knew she had to get to them first, Uther would destroy them in a second. A hardness suddenly came over her, she was determined he would not succeed. It was amazing to her just how far away she felt from the people she grew up with.

As Arthur prepared to leave to find the dissident group Morgana followed him. She knew she had to be careful how she proceeded. It was important she didn’t give herself away, but she was confident that she would be able to persuade Arthur not to go, after all she could always wrap him around a little finger.

“Arthur.” Morgana called catching up with him halfway down the corridor.

Arthur smiled despite himself seeing Morgana running after him.

“Arthur you’re not going on this mission are you?” Morgana said treating him with her favourite sugary smile.

“No I’m not thinking.” Arthur smiled “I am going on it.” He continued to walk on.

“But you’re chasing nothing but a rumour.” Morgana argued sweetly putting her hand on Arthur’s arm, and appealing to him.

“True. But now it’s the only thing we’ve got to go on.” Arthur replied.

“But you are wasting your time.” Morgana insisted treating him to another sweet smile.

“Morgana I never knew you cared.” Arthur replied using his favourite sarcastic tone on her.

“What are you talking about?” Morgana asked suddenly feeling annoyed.

“I can look after myself you know.” Arthur said a tight smile playing on his lips. “It’s a combination of raw talent and hard training that makes me…”

“That makes you so utterly obnoxious, yes I know.” Morgana said finishing the sentence for him. 

She suddenly realised no amount of crawling was going to change his mind. She watched him pace down the corridor, a sudden hard and determined manner overcame her. She just had to get to Alvarr first and warn him, regardless of the risk for herself. She realised in that moment that her loyalty to Camelot was no longer so assured. 

For so long she had been alone with her fears, but now for the first time she began to see some light ahead. There were people outside of Camelot’s walls who she could identify herself with. No longer would she be feeling so alone, she hurried out to get on her horse, now knowing there was no going back, she had made her choice.


	14. The First Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set during The Once and Future Queen episode and is about Arthur and Gwen. There is no doubt this was were their relationship truly kicked off. This is from Arthur's position and it is about him coming to terms with his arrogance and how it affects other people. Gwen is probably the only one who can truly reign him in on this particular fault of his. Naturally the kiss is covered.

The First Moment

Sun was flooding in through the small window as Arthur slowly stretched himself and carefully stood up. The make shift bed was not as uncomfortable as he had first feared, when he insisted that Gwen had used her own bed for the night. 

Ah Gwen. Suddenly the mention of her name, was making him feel strangely excited. When he had first taken on the task of disguising himself, it had been mainly for his own vanity. In fact a part of him now squirmed at the reasoning he had given, when Gwen has asked him why he was actually doing it. He remembered the look she gave him after he gave his explanation, at the time he had felt unable to read it. But now having spent the last few days with her, he could take a calculated guess that she did not really understand.

He sighed maybe you had to be born a royal to appreciate the reasoning behind it. All through his life people had treated him a certain way. Yes it was fine most of the time, and yet at times he almost craved to know what it was like to be, well to be normal like everyone else. How could he really explain that to Gwen, or Merlin even as he knew his servant too found it hard to understand.

One thing was clear though through the last few days he had an attraction to the woman whose house he had hidden in. He shuddered at how inconsiderate he’d been on occasion. He could blame it on his upbringing, but he knew deep down that Gwen was right. He had acted like a spoilt Prince, put his own needs before others, and as a result treated the young woman like his own personal servant. He wondered how he had managed to get it so wrong. He knew he now had just one morning to get it right, and to make it clear to her just how he felt.

They had made small talk over the breakfast table, she had smiled at him as she fussed around. He had attempted to help and she let him clear the table. He noticed her smiles appeared to become more and more shyly given. As if she was afraid to stare at him for too long. He wondered why she had suddenly changed, when before she’d been so bold with him in conversation. There was no doubt about it the mood between them had suddenly changed, become more intimate he could sense it.

She had asked him if he would wear the ribbon in her honour. For a second the question had touched him in a way he’d never known before. Such a simple request but somehow it seemed a really intimate thing but also the right thing to do. It was as if it had cemented an understanding between them. She could barely look him in the face, but he determinedly stared at her, and then out of no where he had learnt over and kissed her. 

For a second he had panicked thinking she may push him away but as the kiss went on he relaxed feeling suddenly both thrilled and overcome at the same time. As the kiss ended they had moved away slowly from each other, both staring at the other as if wanting some sort of reassurance. He had given her a little tight smile before suddenly remembering that Merlin would be on his way to meet him. With one last look at her, he had said goodbye.

As he closed the door he had stood there for a second trying to remember the kiss again. He briefly smiled as he could still remember the feel of her lips on his. He had remembered a friend of his saying “you always remember your first kiss, it’s the best one of all.” As he stood there he agreed. He had started this crusade to get people to judge him as an individual. As he walked down the street towards Merlin he realised he had found something far more important.


	15. The Camelot Detective Agency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When ever anything went wrong in Camelot who did they call but Merlin and Gwen. This was one of many examples of how they would put their heads together, and save the day. It is set during the Witchfinder episode, and Gwen comes through to help Merlin prove Gaius's innocence.

It was late and Merlin was on the verge of despairing, when suddenly Gwen came bursting through the door.

“What’s the matter?” Merlin asked suddenly feeling even more anxious.

“It’s Aredian.” She said. “He’s questioning Morgana again, she’s on the verge of breaking point.” 

Merlin nodded. He knew exactly how Aredian was going about things now.

“That’s what he does he breaks you down and in the end you confess whether you’re guilty or not” he said, feeling suddenly angry wondering why it hadn’t occurred to him before now.

“What can we do without any proof?” Gwen asked.

“Find some.” Merlin said running out he carefully made for Aredian’s room. He felt almost intimidated as he entered the witchfinder’s room, but then thinking of Gaius a night away from execution made him suddenly focus on what he had to do. He searched around the drawers but found nothing of interest. Just as he was on the verge of giving up, his attention was drawn to the cupboard.

He opened it and had a good look inside, the first thing he noticed were some unusual flower petals, the likes of which he’d never seen before. He picked them up feeling them carefully. All of a sudden he had the feeling these could be the answer to their problems. He ran back to his chambers where Gwen was impatiently waiting for him. 

Suddenly Merlin was pleased Gwen was with him, two heads where better than one. Merlin snatched one of the Gaius’s books feeling the answer to Gaius’s predicament was in one of them, they just had to somehow identify the flower petals. 

Over the next couple of hours they had identified the flower as belladonna, and worked out that in certain conditions it caused hallucinations. Gwen having realised that all the people who’d seen the hallucinations had been women, suddenly guessed they where dealing with a beauty product.

With Gwen leading the way they ran into the lower town. Gwen knew the apothecary in the beauty shop. Merlin stepped back allowing his friend to take the lead to begin with. But as the man grew reluctant to admit he’d supplied the tincture, Merlin’s frustration grew. He knew every minute lost could be vital. 

Eventually Gwen had persuaded the truth out of him. He confessed to supplying the tincture, but saying the witchfinder had threatened him and made him sell it. Merlin was suddenly pleased that his friend was with him. Just for once it was nice that there was someone else to share his burden. As they ran back to Gaius’s chambers Merlin felt confident that they had enough to free Gaius.

“We have everything we need now with the witness we have.” Merlin said, grabbing some papers off a desk.

“Are you sure?” Gwen asked.

“What else do we need?” Merlin cried out suddenly desperate pretty soon it would be morning and all he could see was Gaius’s time running out.

“It’s still only our word against Aredian’s” Gwen pointed out

“Gwen we don’t have a choice.” Merlin shouted at Gwen not knowing what else they had to do. “By dawn tomorrow Gaius will be executed.”

“Merlin we only have one chance at this. We’ve got to give Uther something he can’t deny. Something not even Aredian can talk his way out of.”

For a second Merlin just stared at his friend in utter defeat, what else could they do he wondered. He closed his eyes for a second feeling as if the walls where coming in on him. He pulled himself together realising she was right. They had to somehow make this stick. Suddenly he had an idea, one that could swing the balance their way.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He said 

**********************************************************

There had been days when Merlin had cursed his powers, others when they had almost destroyed him. But today he was suddenly glad he possessed the power to change things. He knew deep down he was in fact stitching Aredian up, but he had no regrets. Hadn’t Aredian done the same after all? As far as Merlin was concerned he was merely righting a wrong that had been done. Gaius had mentioned it in passing only once since he’d been freed. They had laughed about it briefly, Merlin knew he was grateful though.

In the days after Gwen was still wondering about it. He looked at his friend when she mentioned it in passing. There where times when he felt it would be a blessed relief to tell someone of his magic, but he knew he couldn’t. But for a moment he would off loved to let Gwen in on the secret. Instead he merely thanked her for helping him free Gaius, pleased that yet again they had proved their loyalty to one another. Gwen was one person Merlin knew he’d always be able to rely on.


	16. The Light in Her Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I set this during The Nightmare Begins. As Merlin and Morgana spent so much time fighting on the other side, I felt it would be more interesting to do one where Merlin was actually seen to be proactive in his support of Morgana.

Morgana’s world had been turned upside down. All of a sudden she felt as if she was trapped in a place far away from the world that she knew. Things that once made sense no longer did. Her nights suddenly became like a prison to her. The blackness of the night seemed unending and full of terror that paralysed her with fear. The worst of it was she felt she couldn’t talk it over with anyone she loved. She felt apart from the very people who would normally be there to help her through it.

Of course people were very kind, Gwen had more than once offered to stay with her. But Morgana knew that would be no answer, she needed to talk to really talk with someone. It was no good trying to talk with Gaius as he would just give her another potion, not only that he seemed if anything keen for her not to talk about it. He insisted they were just dreams that she was having. 

Morgana knew different, she knew magic was driving the dreams. She also knew it was becoming harder to control them. Her experience with the candle had been terrifying enough for her. But having broken a vase the very next night as well, it had sent her into a huge panic, that she had trouble controlling.

As she sat on her bed getting reading for another restless night, for some reason she thought about Merlin. Her brother’s manservant was suddenly much on her mind. There was something about him that made her curious. Whenever she talked about magic he reacted differently to everyone else. He wasn’t so quick to judge her when she thought about the possibility of magic being the cause of her troubles. At one stage when she talked to him she was sure he was on the verge of saying something. She had waited expectantly for him to actually say it, but then he too clammed up. Morgana was forced to run from the room and give in to her tears, now more convinced than ever than no one understood her. 

Having spent a restful day with Gwen fussing around her, Morgana felt a little bit stronger. Suddenly determined to face her demons and conquer them, she would not be beaten she told herself. Just as she made to get into bed there was a knock on her door. Gwen had just gone, so Morgana walked over to the door, to her surprise Merlin stood there.

There was a brief silence between them, almost as if each of them was sizing up the other, before talking.

Merlin had a bottle in his hand, “Gaius wanted you to have a potion my lady.” He said handing it over to her.

“I don’t need a potion thank you. Merlin ignore what I had said the other night, I’d just had a nightmare, I was upset.” She said wanting to explain what had made her run from Gaius’s room like that. 

“I know.” Merlin assured her, “I haven’t said anything to anyone.”

Morgana attempted to smile but suddenly the tears where rolling from her eyes, and she panicked.

“I’m sorry.” She said, “Normally it’s Gwen that has to deal with me when I’m like this.” Morgana expected the boy to flee, but to her surprise he hung around. Not for the first time she had the feeling that he was trying to support her somehow. She invited him inside.

“I don’t mind, I think I can help you.” Merlin replied.

Morgana gave him a grimace, “I doubt that.”

“I know these experiences must be frightening, especially in your situation.” He began.

“What do you mean?” Morgana said suddenly feel agitated. “Why in my situation?”

“You’re the King’s Ward you of all people know about his hatred of magic.”

Suddenly Morgana sprang at him, “You think it’s magic?” she asked.

The boy seemed to take a step back from her, and suddenly she heard in his voice a bit of panic. “I’m not saying that.”

“But it could be, couldn’t it?” Morgana implored him to agree with her, please, please she thought just say it.

“I wouldn’t know but there are people who could help you.” Merlin said trying to control the situation.

“Who could?” she suddenly snapped. Never before had she felt so disappointed in someone.

“The Druids.” He answered her looking her in the eye.

“They wouldn’t dare come near Camelot.” Morgana replied.

“No.” Merlin agreed. “But I know where you can find them.”

 

When Morgana looked back on her life among the happiest days she spent was in the camp run by Aglain. The Druid elder had welcomed her into his world, and eventually he had fully explained what her dreams where about. For Morgana it felt like being at home at last, surrounded by people who understood her, and whom she could speak freely with. Now she knew it was magic, she felt at one with the world. 

Her time with Aglain and Mordred whom she was reunited with she made the most of. She always had the impression that magic was something that chose people, now she knew that was the case. Suddenly she grew in confidence, suddenly she knew whom she was, and at last she no longer felt like she was imprisoned.

She silently thanked Merlin for giving her the idea, now she was sure he totally understood her predicament. Little did she know how much that would change in the years ahead.


	17. The Prince's Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Uther under the troll Caterina's control, this is about Arthur struggling to regain his father's love and confidence. Arthur often had to live up to his father, but none more so then here.

“You are to be disinherited with immediate effect. You are no longer crown Prince of Camelot.”

To begin with Arthur felt as if he was in a bad dream, that any moment he would wake up and find himself in his comfortable familiar chambers. But the stunned silence of the throne room as people gasped at Uther’s word, told him it was all very real. He, Prince Arthur of Camelot had just been disinherited by his father. 

To begin with like everyone else Arthur was stunned. It took a minute or two before he even reacted. Gaius had intervened in the meantime, although he was grateful to the physician, Arthur knew this was his fight.

“Please Gaius.” He said holding his hand up. Then he approached his father, taking a couple of steps nearer, as if being closer to Uther would help his appeal.

“You’ve always taught me to be true to my heart. That’s all I’ve ever tried to do. To be the man you wanted me to be. Someone you were proud to call your son.” He spoke in a quiet manner, making sure that he had direct eye contact with just his father.

“My decision is final.” Uther said coldly.

Suddenly Arthur knew his father would not change his mind. He chose to leave the throne room, to deal with his humiliation in private. As he got to his chambers he stood over by the window and looked out.

Below in the courtyard life in Camelot was continuing as normal. There was a hustle and bustle, people coming and going. Arthur watched it all without seeing, his eyes followed the movements but his brain had come to a stop. 

All his life he had tried to please his father, to do what he could to make him feel proud. At times it had been an uphill struggle. Arthur knew Uther had his own demons that he fought daily. At times he would off done anything to just be able to sit down and talk it all through with him. But he knew his father would perceive that as a weakness. So Arthur continued to do what he thought was right.

That was not to say that he didn’t disagree with Uther’s actions at times. There where days when he knew his father had done the wrong thing, each time he had a private battle with himself, as to whether he would question his father’s decisions. He understood that Camelot need loyalty, and that he shouldn’t be seen to question his father in public. But just now, he was finding his father’s decision harder and harder to understand.

Ever since he’d married Lady Catrina his whole attitude had changed. Arthur found him even harder to talk too. It seemed as if he was no longer the father he once knew. 

Arthur though surprised about Uther’s relationship had supported it, as he wanted ultimately to see his father happy. He had spent so many years in isolation, that Arthur knew at times even Uther had found it tough. So when Lady Catrina came into Uther’s life Arthur was happy that all of a sudden his father walked with a lighter step. That Uther suddenly had a smile on his face, where before he would wear a frown. Arthur had done his best to get on with Lady Catrina, and on the whole had managed it.

Arthur even ignored Merlin’s claim that she was a troll. At times he wondered what planet his manservant came from. As long as she made his father happy then that was okay with him.

But the moment they had got married Arthur noticed a change in the whole atmosphere. Suddenly he started to question where the thirst for power was coming from, and clearly it was not coming from Uther.

The raise in taxes had been the last straw for Arthur. He knew the majority of the people where poor. He knew that most had a daily struggle just to survive, therefore he felt he had no choice but to make a stand. He felt that at time he just had to do the right thing. The people could not represent themselves, so he had to do it for them.

His father’s reaction had stunned him, in doing so he had pushed Arthur away, rejected him in front of the court. As he continued to stare out of the window, he wondered what he could do next. All of a sudden he had never felt as alone as what he did now. But as clarity began to reform in his mind, he knew that he had to fight, for the sake of the people, his people. He was determined he would make his father see sense, the future of Camelot depended on him doing just that.


	18. Shades of Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about Gwen's struggle with Morgana when the dreams are getting really bad. Here we see how close the girls are as Morgana attempts to come to terms with her magic. But this is from Gwen's point of view and shows the lengths she is prepared to go for Morgana.

Gwen tried to busy herself as she shuffled out of Morgana’s chambers. It was only by keeping busy that she stopped worrying about Morgana. She would of done anything to help her, but she felt totally at a loss, such was Morgana’s condition. Ever since her mistress had been haunted by a succession of nightmares it seemed that a shadow had crossed, all of their lives. One that seemed to engulf the entire castle. Gwen could feel the tension creeping around everywhere.

It had started the night Morgana’s chambers had caught fire, Morgana had gone to bed early, in an effort to catch some extra sleep. The moment Gwen had seen Morgana asleep she decided to leave her too it, hoping that she would have an good night. Gwen picked up the candle and took it over to the window, making sure that she blew it out before leaving.

She had left early that night thankful that for once she would have time to do some chores in her own house. By the time she had arrived back into the citadel all hell had broken loose. A fire had broken out in Morgana’s chambers, and suddenly Uther was on the warpath. Before long she had found herself being questioned by an irate Uther. Gwen had to defend herself on a couple of occasions to the King. 

Uther had repeatedly asked Gwen about whether she had blown out the candle or not. It had taken every ounce of her courage to face the King and insist that she had. When the King had asked her again Arthur had come to her aid. She smiled at him in relief, but she realised the incident would not go away. It seemed that the King was determined to think that foul-play was the reason.

Later on that morning she had sat with Morgana. The poor girl was going out of her mind by now. Gwen sat with her, attempting to calm her worries.

“I’m sure there is an innocent explanation my lady.” Gwen said gently. “It was such a bad storm, maybe it was lightning, as Arthur suggested.”

Gwen was really frightened by the look on Morgana’s face. Her mistresses features was usually so strong and resolute, but today it was crumpled, and it seemed as if she was fighting herself, about what to say. When she spoke her voice sounded almost childlike. 

“I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore.” Morgana cried attempting to stop her tears from falling.

Gwen gave her a hug, and told her not to worry. In the back of Gwen’s mind though she was worried. It was as if Morgana had something in her mind that she didn’t want to say. Gwen always felt she had good intuition when she spoke to people. She could usually tell when people were hiding something from her. Right now she knew Morgana feared something, something that she couldn’t share with Gwen. It pained her that there was a barrier between them, just at the time when Morgana needed somebody to be there.

Gwen continued to try and support her mistress and friend, through her hard times, but the fact that Morgana felt unable to share her deepest fear, meant Gwen could only go so far. She wondered why some people found it so hard to speak out about their fears. Her own father had always taught her that things were best out in the open. But the more she worked inside Camelot the more she discovered how different people could be, in whether they could open up or not.

Her mistress reminded Gwen of another of her friends. Merlin, he was another one who she felt at times carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. No matter how many times Gwen would try and persuade Merlin to open up, he only ever went so far. Just like Morgana in fact, as if they had some great secret. Not for the first time Gwen wished she could break through whatever it was that held them. She sighed she would just have to be there she thought to herself, and maybe one day she would break through.

By the time she’d gone back into Morgana’s chambers she could tell her mistress was back to herself. She was getting ready for bed, she had pushed away Gwen’s offer to stay the night. Gwen knew she would not get through Morgana’s mask, but she was determined to continue to support her.

“I’ll always be here for you my lady.” Gwen said with a smile.

“Thank you Gwen.” Morgana replied. “But I will be fine.”

With a slight sigh Gwen left the room, and as she made her way home again, she prayed for a day when there was no longer any need for secrets.


	19. The Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about Merlin's relationship with Kilgharrah around the episode The Fires of Idirsholas. In it the dragon insists that Merlin needs to kill Morgana, this is Merlin's inner most thoughts as he comes to terms with what the dragon has told him.

Sweat ran down Merlin’s face as he attempted to take stock, of what he knew. It was all easier said then done though, as there seemed to be so much that Merlin was not sure about. The only facts he knew to be true were, since coming back from the temple at Idirsholas, Arthur and him had come back to a citadel full of sleeping people, and the only one awake was Morgana. 

The longer he stayed in Morgana’s company the more perturbed he was beginning to become. It seemed as if the King’s ward was in a trance. She often had her back to Merlin and Arthur, she seemed so unsure of herself, which was very unlike her, as usually she was so strong and resolute. Merlin had tried to speak with her, but it seemed that she just totally rejected him. It was as if her mind had completely closed down.

The other unease he had was once it became clear Morgause was in the citadel, Merlin's suspicions about Morgana became more apparent. She had shown no surprise at Morgause suddenly being there initially. Only when Merlin had asked her about Morgause had she admitted she was surprised. It was as if, she'd been half expecting it, but not willing to admit it to Merlin. If all was so innocent why had she been so cagey about it? From that moment on more doubt was creeping into Merlin's mind. 

The other problem was Arthur. The way he barked questions at Morgana, wasn’t getting them anywhere. Even if Merlin shared Arthur disbelief in events. Even though Merlin knew about Morgana’s magic, he wasn’t sure that it would of saved her from whatever it was, that was keeping everyone else asleep. 

Merlin himself was having to fight the spell, yet Morgana seemed totally unbothered by it. Not once had she wiped her brow, or look as if she was fighting the extreme tiredness that Merlin and Arthur were having to. The longer the time went on the more tired Merlin was becoming. What on earth was going on he wondered? Just as despair was beginning to take over him again, he realised there was one creature that may be able to of be assistance to him.

Merlin ran down the steps towards the Great Dragon’s cave, hoping against hope that he may be able to supply the warlock with some definite answers. 

“What‘s going on, why’s everyone asleep.” he called.. 

All he heard in reply was the snoring of the sleeping dragon.

“I need your help, what am I going to do? Merlin called. Suddenly he felt in depair, was there no ending to this series of setbacks. Then as he continued to stare at the still dragon, he noticed a slight twitch. “ Don’t pretend I know you’re listening to me.” Merlin shouted.

Suddenly the dragon raised his head, and in a very uninterested tone replied. “I don’t need to listen to you Merlin, you always say the same thing. Help me! And yet you refuse to give anything in return. Now you will face the consequences of that decision. Camelot’s end is nigh and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

“I know I promised to set you free and I will.” Merlin said trying to keep his irritation from surfacing.

All of sudden the dragon’s laughter echoed around the cave, deafening Merlin’s hearing. 

“I will I promise!” Merlin shouted desperately.

“I no longer trust your promises.” the dragon replied.

Suddenly Merlin knew he couldn’t afford to lose the dragon’s trust. Some how he had to convince him that he would keep his word, the situation demanded it.

“I swear on my mother’s life.” Merlin said, barely believing he had come out with such a statement. A statement he knew they’d be no going back from.

“Her life means more to you than your own.” the dragon mused thoughtfully. “This is one promise I believe you will keep. It’s one thing to cast a spell that puts everyone to sleep. The power to maintain it is a different matter. It will need more than just words to break this spell."

Not more riddles Merlin thought to himself. “What do you mean?”

“You must eradicate the source Merlin.”

“Great.” Merlin replied an actual answer. “What’s that?”

“Not what but who?” the dragon replied enjoying leading the warlock on. “Such spells need a vessel a constant living presence to give them strength. The source of this pestilence is the witch, the Lady Morgana.”

“Can’t be.” Merlin breathed.

“I have warned you about her in the past, but you have failed to take heed. She is dangerous!” the dragon roared.

“No.” Merlin sighed.

“And now she has turned on her own.” the dragon said looking intently at Merlin.

“How do I stop her?” Merlin asked suddenly feeling low.

“That is easy young warlock, you must kill her.” the dragon said as if it was simplest thing in the world to do.

“No.” Merlin called out in horror, the thought was too terrifying for him to contemplate. 

“The spell is woven with magic of such power that not even you are immune to it. You must act now before it’s too late. If you do not, Camelot will fall and Arthur will die, and the future you were destined to share will die with you.” Kilgharrah finished.

Merlin had stood routed to the spot. So it had come down to this. His worse fears had been realised. Morgana was indeed the thing that stood between him and his destiny. He closed his eyes and wondered if he would have the courage to act as the dragon had so calmly advised. This was after all the dragon who had so arrogantly lied to him only the other year. Could he really trust him, especially as he had no love for Morgana.

Yet as he took in the dragon’s words he knew there was truth there. Hadn’t he given Morgana chances to come clean? But she had refused to take them. What choice did he really have if the whole of Camelot and his destiny were at stake? As he made his way up the steps Merlin knew he faced the biggest decision of his life.


	20. Destined For Great Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about the way Gaius keep's Merlin believing as he confronts one of his greatest challenges stopping Cornelius Sigan from destroying Camelot.

It was when the noises of destruction that had rung around the castle finally stopped, that Gaius’s worst fears began to take over. Out there his young ward was facing his stiffest challenge yet. It was a battle against Camelot’s most famous and powerful Sorcerer, Cornelius Sigan. 

Sigan had been the Sorcerer that Gaius had grown up fearing more than any other. While it was true he had been dead for many years, Gaius knew in magic nothing was permanent. From the moment he realised that the huge stone that dominated Sigan’s tomb, was in actual in fact Sigan’s soul, he knew Camelot was in big trouble. 

Then suddenly Cedric, Arthur’s newly appointed servant had stolen a number of treasures from the crypt including the soul of Cornelius Sigan, suddenly Camelot’s most famous sorcerer was brought back to life.

Gaius had spent endless hours trying to convey to Uther how serious the situation was, but as ever the stubborn King refused to take him at his word. Suddenly Uther and Camelot itself was suffering from the King’s folly.

The sorcerer had already damaged large parts of the castle, forcing people into the great hall, everyone sheltered together as the walls began to crack and holes appeared in the ceiling.

Gaius knew Camelot’s future was on his ward’s young shoulders. It had come at a crucial time too, as Merlin’s confidence had taken a battering with the arrival of Cedric. Gaius had spent much time encouraging the boy recently, as not for the first time he questioned his destiny. Gaius had never doubted Merlin, but he knew at the moment the boy was doubting himself. Gaius realised this would be Merlin’s toughest test yet.

From the moment when Merlin had stepped outside to confront Sigan, all Gaius could do was pray that the spell, his ward had just received was enough. He knew should he manage to overcome his great challenge, then nothing would hold him back. But he also knew in the frame of mind that Merlin had been in recently, it was not going to be easy for him. Gaius could still hear noises outside, loud crashes and bangs and closed his eyes in trepidation.

The moment Merlin had entered Gaius's life the old man's world had been changed beyond belief. He never thought in all his years, that at his age he would be responsible for someone like Merlin. He wasn't just a young boy, but someone who was destined for greatness. At times Gaius felt the burden as much as his young ward did. But in the year he had got to know him, Gaius knew he would do anything for him, the boy meant that much to him. He prayed that he would overcome his latest trial, and that he would have back in one piece again.

Suddenly he realised all had gone quiet, he decided to go outside and investigate. As Gaius walked out into the court yard, all he could see was destruction hanging around. A fear caught hold of Gaius, as his eyes strained to see through the mist that was lying around amid the rubble. 

Suddenly he could see movement up ahead, slowly he walked into the direction of it, his eyes still struggling to see. He stopped the mist suddenly evaporated and there was the still figure off Merlin. There was something about the boy’s face that seemed different. For a second fear took over Gaius, he approached him carefully.

“Merlin?” he said softly.

After a tense second or two a huge smile broke out on the boys face, as he held aloft the soul of Cornelius Sigan. He had done it again, suddenly a feeling of euphoria took over Gaius as he ran over to Merlin and hugged him close.

“My boy, you’ve done it.” He said emotion making his voice seem strange to him.

As Gaius considered the changes that had developed in his ward that year, he realised the day Merlin had managed to foil Cornelius Sigan, a huge test had been passed. Never before had Gaius been more proud of the boy who had become like a son to him. Merlin was indeed destined for great things. Now all he had to do was to make sure that Merlin believed it too.


	21. The Healing Bracelet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about the immediate connection that occurs between Morgana and Morgause. It is from here that Morgana senses that she may have a different path to take. It is probably the time when her rejection of Camelot really begins.

Morgana had always believed that she was somehow different. Not in an arrogant or overbearing way. But she merely felt something burned deep inside her, that as yet she could not explain. Even before her dreams began to haunt her, certain events would trigger her mind, in a way that you struggled to comprehend. Feelings about places she’d been to, or people she’d met, which then became true.

She often had deja vous moments, when she’d swear she’d been somewhere, or that she’d met someone, even though she knew she hadn’t. But usually she would end up dismissing it and putting it to the back of her mind. That was until the day she met Morgause.

She would never forget the day, the young woman strode into her life. For one thing it was a dramatic occurrence. Morgana along with others was watching some young men being knighted in the Great Hall. Suddenly the door had burst open and came a figure dressed all in armour who purpose walked down the red carpet. Coming to a stop just before Arthur they arrogantly tossed a piece of armour by his feet. A challenge.

As Arthur picked it up and asked the person to reveal themselves, Morgana along with everyone else watched in a stunned silence as the helmet slowly came off. To Morgana’s shock it was not a face of a burly arrogant man, but a woman. She had long blonde hair, and she threw it back, and looked straight at Arthur, as if daring him to question her.

As Morgana stared at her she felt a deep connection, but when she thought about it later she wondered how that could be, as she had not met her before. She had briefly mentioned it to Gwen, but when her maid asked her when, she could not supply an answer, and Morgana dropped the subject.

It was after the fight in which the blonde stranger had beaten Prince Arthur that their paths crossed again. Morgana seeing the woman had injured herself decided to check up on her. She entered the guest chamber, at first she didn’t see her, just as she was about to change her mind flee the woman came out and saw Morgana.

Morgana suddenly felt awkward. “I didn‘t mean to intrude. I want to introduce myself, I’m the Lady Morgana.” 

“I know who you are.” the woman had replied.

“How is your arm? You were wounded?” Morgana asked wanting to keep the conversation going.

“It’ll heal soon enough.” she said and then walked over to Morgana looking at her closely. “You look tired.”

“I’ve not been sleeping well.” Morgana explained.

“I no how troubling that can be.” the woman replied sympathetically. 

Suddenly Morgana felt she had to ask the question that was haunting her. “I feel we’ve met before.”

The woman smiled and shook her head. “No but I’m glad we’ve met now.”

Morgana smiled in return, suddenly she spotted a bracelet on the woman’s arm. There was something about the bracelet that really attracted Morgana, growing in confidence she remarked.

“That is a lovely bracelet.”

“It was a gift from my mother. Please I’d like you to have it. It is a healing bracelet, it will help you sleep.”

“No I couldn’t.” Morgana assured her. “You must be tired, I’ll leave you to rest.”

Watching Morgana leave the room the stranger said softly. “I hope you will remember me.”

Morgana nodded her head as she left the room. Despite the woman’s denial Morgana still felt there was something about her. But for the life of her she didn’t know what. Yet another mystery that plagued her mind, and made her question everything. She began to wonder if she would ever get any peace.

That night she settled down in trepidation, knowing another restless night lay ahead for her. She barely thought of the woman as she closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep. The next thing she remembered was being pushed by a worried Gwen, who laughed about it being midday.

“I can‘t remember the last time I had such a good night.” Morgana smiled. 

As Gwen left the room Morgana noticed something on the table by her bed. Reaching out she realised it was the bracelet that she had so admired on the woman’s wrist the day before. She picked it up and immediately felt it’s soothing power. There was something familiar about the crest on the bracelet, but she didn’t know what it was. As she put it on around her wrist, she felt totally at ease. 

Morgana often silently thanked the woman and wondered if they would ever meet again. As she touched the bracelet she really hoped they would. Then she could thank her properly.


	22. The Druid Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about Mordred, but it is also about Merlin and his understanding about how fate will play a part in his destiny with others. Here Merlin looks back on both his meetings with the young Druid boy and realises their fate is fatally linked.

Merlin had seen Mordred the young Druid boy twice that year. Both occasions were unexpected. The first time was when Merlin had sent Morgana to the Druids to help her come to terms with her magic. When Merlin had been forced to intervene, and bring her back to Camelot, their first encounter had occurred.

Merlin had heard Mordred’s voice first, when he had stopped for a brief rest. Though Merlin hadn’t been aware that it was the Druid boy’s all he knew was that the voice was familiar to him. It was when Merlin was helping Morgana escape from Arthur that he came face to face with the boy.

He hadn’t changed much in his looks, though his eyes seemed to be even more evasive to Merlin. Blue and almost chilling, at times Merlin struggled to stop a cold feeling run over his body, as he had stared at him. How was it that such a young boy could have this effect on him, he wondered?

Merlin always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, but with Mordred there was something that deeply disturbed him. Merlin had tried to help Morgana, Aglain and Mordred escape after unintentionally bringing Arthur to the camp. He had felt really awkward, and was desperate to make amends. All he had done was bring disaster upon them. Another lesson had been bitterly learnt.

The most shocking part of it though, had been watching Mordred kill three guards using a sonic cry that had pierced through Merlin’s head with tremendous force. He felt stunned, his feet stuck solid to the ground as he then watched Mordred disappear back into the forest. The power he had was awe-inspiring, if he hadn’t have seen it happen, he would never have believed it possible. He had returned to Camelot deeply troubled.

It had been later on that same year when their paths crossed again. Mordred was with a sorcerer called Alvarr, who was determined to kill the King. They had teamed up with Morgana. 

It was a time of severe frustration for Merlin as he longed to tell Arthur the truth, but knew he needed better proof then he had. Arthur would never have believed that Morgana would betray him and his father. But what could Merlin do? So the warlock had visited the Dragon. It was there that Kilgharrah had told Merlin a piece of information that had left Merlin stunned.

According to Kilgharrah, Morgana and Mordred was destined to unite together in evil. Merlin had already been told that Mordred was destined to kill Arthur, and now he had this news to contemplate as well. The Dragon made it clear that Merlin must intervene and stop it, but how? More to the point how could Kilgharrah know? Surely things could change, people could change? 

Merlin began to realise in this moment just how the road to his destiny was strewn with impossible and terrible decisions for him to face. By the end of the year he had been forced to poison Morgana to stop a curse that had taken over Camelot caused by Morgause. He had lost his innocence in that moment, and suddenly his whole world and life seemed cold and empty. He wondered how many more things he would be forced to do, things that both shocked and repelled him. All for his destiny, not for the first time he wondered if it would all prove worth while. 

He knew deep inside that he and Mordred would one day meet again, and by then who knew what might have happened. He knew now he must stay alert and be ready for whatever it was that life threw at him. From now on the simple days had been left behind, and from now on nothing would ever be quite the same again.


	23. The Mystery of the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about Arthur thinking about his friendship with Merlin and how much it has come on in the last year. He senses there is so much he still does not know about Merlin, and yet their relationship is suddenly a lot stronger.

Just when Arthur felt as though he was getting to know his servant, Merlin would do something unexpected. Camelot was being terrorised by the Great Dragon that had somehow escaped. Every day Arthur would lead his men into battle against it, feeling that each day would be his last. As Arthur used every ounce of his courage and fortitude, the one undeniable fact was his servant, no friend as he had now become, stayed right by his side. 

The last couple of weeks had been a test of endurance for both of them. From the initial night after night fight with the dragon itself, to the journey to find the last Dragonlord that could bring an end to Camelot’s suffering. 

Arthur’s memories regarding part of that journey had been obscured by the injury he had sustained, while hunting for the Dragonlord. What was undeniable looking back though was had it not been for Merlin’s undoubted resourcefulness they would never have found the Dragonlord. Not only that, Arthur would never have made it back to Camelot. This was not the first time that his “useless” servant had proved to be so practical.

No matter how much Arthur tried to tell himself otherwise, there was something about Merlin that somehow set him apart. He had known it from the moment the scrawny youth had threatened him, the first time they’d met in the market that day. Yet no matter how hard Arthur tried to work it out, much about Merlin remained in the shadow. At times he could be infuriately secret about himself. But despite that he remained faithfully by Arthur’s side, whatever the Prince was forced to face.

There had been something strange about Merlin’s mood, all the way through the trip. Arthur could not put his finger on what it was, but it was clear to him the younger man seemed to be fighting an inner battle with himself. His usual smart answers back to the Prince were missing, making Arthur actually miss them. 

Arthur at one stage had tried to speak to him, but as ever his friend proved to be elusive in his answers. Merely claiming he was worried for everyone in Camelot, Arthur instinctively knew that to be a lie. But no encouragement could get Merlin to open up. He had just lay there quietly lost in his own thoughts. 

There were times when Arthur wished he could bring down the barriers that existed between them. He was forever lost between what he was expected to do, and how he could make his own judgements. He knew his father would never understand it, for he was a man for whom a servant was a servant, and nothing more. But Arthur knew Merlin was something more than that now.

The day Merlin had marched by Arthur’s side to face the Dragon, had told him that. They were no longer master and servant now, the line had been breached. He would rather die then admit it to Merlin of course, but in his own mind Arthur knew. That day his manservant had become his friend, his most reliable companion, and someone whom Arthur knew he could not do without.


End file.
